I ask the Lord constantly, “where do I fit into all of this?”.
Its a tough place to be, but after traveling back to Africa, I feel a great peace about where I am. This trip was a vision trip for us – the main reason why it was just our family this time. We wanted to seek the Lord, be purposeful with our time and patiently introduce our 4 year old into a new culture. Thankful, that is what I feel.
Truly blown away by how the Lord used us on this journey back to Africa. In the months leading up, He used scripture to prepare my heart. He even used very specific verses as confirmation throughout our time there. In the last 4 years, I haven’t felt a greater peace than I do now. I have spent more time in the Word, truly digging into scripture this last year then probably in a lifetime. Thats embarrassing to say, but its true.
The Lord broke my heart for the fatherless some time ago. Orphan care and advocacy… that is what my heart longed for! And since then, I have been searching for where I fit into it all. For the bigger picture. We started our ministry 4 years ago next month. And while we’ve been productive… I sometimes question if we’ve been purposeful!
Ministry is definitely a growing experience, and if we’re seeking for answers, we might be waiting a while. But when we are seeking the Lord, and his guidance… He is there!
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. ~Jeremiah 29:12-13
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! ~ Matthew 7:7-11
I may not find the exact answers I’m looking for. But, that doesn’t mean he’s not still working in us.
I am seeking the Lord. I am seeking him through prayer and scripture!
I got to experience something so special this time around. Watching my firstborn experience something brand new. She went a country on the other side of the world. She embraced babies that were crying, held hands with those trying to walk and got on dirty grounds to play with street children. Looking at my child in this far away place, loving on the least of these, humbled my heart in a way I never thought.
And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” 29 Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” 32 And the scribe said to him, “You are right, Teacher. You have truly said that he is one, and there is no other besides him. 33 And to love him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.” 34 And when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And after that no one dared to ask him any more questions. ~ Mark 12:28-34
He said, to LOVE THE LORD with all your heart and to LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR as yourself!
Basically, He called us to LOVE. I know its easy to love myself. Thats a no brainer. But how easy is it to love the guy next door who plays his music too loud, or the rude woman glaring at your child in the checkout line? Maybe the children with dirty faces and urine soaked clothes? Or what about the guy who shot and killed people praying in their church? Trust me when I say this… I am not starting a debate. However, the Bible calls us… HE COMMANDS us to do these things. To truly LOVE our NEIGHBOR as ourselves!
I won’t pretend to say I do this often. There are many times when I struggle and even ask God, “how can you expect me to love that person??”
My husband and I spent time in Uganda, watching our 4 year old LOVE. She loved so unselfishly and without hesitation.
That is the kind of love I want to have. That child-like faith, the carefree spirit and unconditional love towards others. In no way am placing my daughter on a pedestal, bc thats far from what I mean when I say that. I simply mean that when we stop and truly seek the Lord with all our hearts, He shows up in the most incredible ways to remind us of what we were created to do! While I still do not know exactly where and how I fit into all of this… one thing I do know. I am called to LOVE. I am called to Go and tell all the Nations. So until He gives us a more clear direction of where we fit into all of this – I will simply love.
My prayer is that I cling to the Lord for guidance always and LOVE with all my heart!
Until then… Brantley